


Second Chances

by Lifewriter



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Death, Charlotte and Cordelia make a brief appearance at the end, Death, F/F, I promise, I was inspired by another writer, M/M, Suicide, Time Travel, angsty but not for long, basically Marvin/Whizzer centric, but like, it hurts for a little bit, kind of sad but not really, only for a bit, swearing I guess, the others are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifewriter/pseuds/Lifewriter
Summary: [ This was inspired by icantwrite88 and their story "Restart". I hope this isn't too close to what they've done c: ]Life had been hell ever since Whizzer died, and Marvin can't take the sleepless nights or the constant grief anymore.Taking matters into his own hands, along with a full bottle of ibuprofen, he ends up taking his own life and waking up in a place that certainly isn't heaven.Realizing that he's not only got a second chance to reconcile with his ex-wife, manage to get his kid to like him, and find some common ground with Mendel, he's also got a second chance to redo his relationship with Whizzer, and hopefully, make it less toxic than it had been before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! This is really my first entry on Archive of Our Own and into this fandom! I'm excited, as I have lots more planned! Hope you all enjoy! Comments and feedback are always appreciated! 
> 
> You all make me a better writer!
> 
> Cheers!

It had been a couple months since Whizzer died, and Marvin, of course, still hadn't managed to pull himself out of his episodes of depression.

Every little thing about the previously shared apartment reminded him of his deceased lover. The bedroom was almost completely considered off limits, even to himself, as there were things still laying inside that hadn't been moved since. He left much of the things inside unmoved. 

It if had been left in that spot by Whizzer, Marvin didn’t dare touch it. 

As much as any little reminder hurt, it was nice in a painful way. Almost as if he could pathetically convince himself that he wasn't gone for good. There was a sharp emotional stab in his chest with that one.

It was a sad way of coping, if one could even consider it 'coping'.

Losing someone so close to you was like having them take a piece of you with them to the grave and he couldn't have agreed more. Currently, the man was sitting on the couch, the TV was on, but it was only a soundless white noise at this point. He had sworn that he turned it on for a distraction, instead, he had managed to lose himself in a darker place. 

There were a few things that kept him around, and one of those few things was his son, Jason. After the kid had lost someone he had considered a father, he didn't have the heart to take himself out of the picture either, especially not with how selfish that would be on his own part. 

But the thought of getting to see that wonderfully stupid smirk on Whizzer's face again. The fact that his mocha brown hair was always styled to perfection and the disgruntled way he looked when Marvin decided that he wanted to mess it up by running his fingers through it. 

It was tempting, to say the least. To end his own suffering, but he also knew that his family would never forgive him for it. 

A sour part of his conscious said that Trina wouldn't care. Which, would be wrong, or so he hoped somewhat. They weren't the best pair, if their marriage before the divorce had proven anything, but they had their son, and if keeping Jason happy meant seeing each other more often than not while trying to find a way to compromise, then fine.

It was the same way when Whizzer had first shown up to Jason's baseball game after their rough breakup two years prior. It had been a punch in the gut seeing that man. Even how he still looked just as good as he had, if not  _ better _ , when Marvin had, regrettably, kicked him out. 

Another part of Marvin's conscious wanted to weigh the blame on himself for his death, saying that if he hadn't of done what he had, his significant other would still be sharing the same bed with him. That hurt just as much. 

These were the thoughts that never stopped plaguing him. These were the kinds of things that haunted Marvin at night when he refused to sleep in his bedroom and would instead curl up on the couch in the living room. When he would refuse to touch something that Whizzer had left before being hospitalized or any of the man's countless beauty products that kept him looking young and refreshed. A stark contrast to when he had seen him in that hospital bed. The way he seemed to be withering away and Marvin was helpless to stop it. 

He was  _ always _ helpless to stop everything. 

His hands tightened on the oversized sweater he had found himself wearing. It wasn't his own. The sweater he had pulled over his head had been the only thing he dared touch from Whizzer's side of the closet. The one article of clothing that made him feel safe, that gave him only a tiniest bit of comfort. It didn't compare to his own wardrobe, as they had had countless, harmless, arguments about it. Whizzer always has been the more stylish of the pair. It even still had that faint scent of cologne clinging to it.

Little to no comfort at all was received.

A sharp intake of breath and he realized he'd choked back a sob.

_ Fuck _ . The first and really only thing his mind could supply him with right now. 

The way his blunt nails dug into his arms through the thin fabric was really the only thing that was keeping him grounded so far. Even the thought of his dear neighbours Charlotte and Cordelia wasn't enough to keep him from wanting to do something drastic and rather frightening. 

His attention shifted from blankly staring at the TV, to the washroom as he rubbed the stubborn wetness from his eyes with the heels of his hands. What was there left? As awful and self-centered as this choice was going to be, he steeled himself. 

Getting up from the couch he had spent many nights on, the blanket and pillows slumped to the sides that spoke to that truth, he was on the move. Pushing open the bedroom door that he kept shut,  stepped inside. It was dark, but he was looking for one thing in particular. 

Throughout their relationship, Whizzer being the photography genius he was, had managed to create a scrapbook with all the pictures he had taken. However, he had two, which Marvin had just found the second one a week after his passing while going through Whizzer's stuff.

It had been a book that the other man had filled with countless pictures that he had snapped of Marvin while he was either unaware, even though the pictures did turn out decent. Whizzer truly had a knack for taking pictures of even the most unphotogenic people, including Marvin, and making them look half decent.  

Then there were pictures of Cordelia and Charlotte, even pictures of Mendel and Trina and Jason too. It had been a tidal wave of bittersweet tastes. 

He found the book sitting idly on the bed, spread open to a page of pictures of just himself and his lover, looking doe-eyed and helplessly in love with each other. One had been taken by Jason. Himself and the brunette had found themselves cuddled up together and dozing while watching a movie one weekend Jason was staying over, and the boy had snagged Whizzer's polaroid and captured the peaceful moment. A small caption of  _ 'World’s Best Dads' _ scribbled into the bottom of the picture. Others had been perfected by said photographer. Positioning, lighting. Or even just small snapshots that Marvin thought nothing of, but frozen pieces of time that Whizzer deemed good enough to be stored. 

There were also scribbles of Whizzer’s printing throughout the pages filled with memories. Either writing snarky little quips, or meaningful dates, including a picture of their first official relationship anniversary.

Marvin had fingered through the book countless times prior to now, before settling it down on the untucked bed after being hit with too many emotions at once.

He had, surprisingly, found a few of the pictures he, himself, had taken. Most of them had been messing around, seeing if he could actually get a hang of what his boyfriend did so naturally. Many of them were also trying to catch Whizzer on one of his less photogenic days — nearly impossible to do, he had found — which still ended up being as photogenic as ever. Even as sad as his picture taking skills were, and they were pretty sad he would admit that, he remembered Whizzer flipping through them, before grinning widely and reassuring him he'd get better with time; and perhaps Marvin has, he's just never tried again. Photography reminded him too much of the other man. 

Snatching the scrapbook off of the bed, his attention was then quickly drawn right back to the washroom. He eyed the door, the world meshing into one of colour and lights as water blurred his vision over. He could do this, he had to think of the positives about what was going to happen within the hour. 

This was a personal decision. He didn't know how the rest of the little 'tight-knit family' would take it, but he had an itching feeling it wouldn't be well. 

At least he'd be leaving this pain addled world behind him. 

His fingers brushed over the cover of the book, a choked noise latching in the back of his throat. He felt it tightening up, but he continued on. There was no turning back now. There was Ibuprofen in the mirror cupboard and he would be lying if he said he hadn't researched how much it would take to overdose on it.

The light in the bathroom was just as blinding as usual and he winced. Shutting the door behind him, he left it unlocked. Marvin's eyes dilated and he suddenly he was staring himself down in the mirror. His reflection looked exhausted. There were bags under his eyes, he looked older than he was. His hair was a mess, looking as if he hadn't showered in a couple days. Honestly? He hadn't. 

Opening up the cabinet, he was welcomed with the sight of a few different miscellaneous things. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, random caps that had lost the bottle, or bottles that had lost the caps to them. Then there were the Ibuprofen pills. There was a sour taste in his mouth as he stared them down.

Was he supposed to write a note before this? Leave his family a reason for what he was doing? Marvin didn't know and frankly, he didn't really care anymore. 

He snatched the bottle from the spot on the shelf and slid down against the farthest wall as he clutched the scrapbook to him. It was the only little piece of his boyfriend that really held any meaning to him anymore, and the pills were rattling around within the white bottle. He only noticed this fact by the way his hands were shaking so violently with it. 

Who knew that killing themselves could be so terrifying?

Selfish. He knew this.

Sucking in a sharp breath, he used two hands to unscrew the top of the bottle off and he poured them into the palm of his opposite hand. Staring down at the pills, they seemed harmless like this. Like there was nothing to fear about it in the first place. Ibuprofen was for getting rid of pain, so did this count as getting rid of pain? 

_ Fuck it. _

Those were the two words that sent his hand to his mouth, throwing the pills back and getting them down dry. It hurt, he had to admit, as taking that many pills at once had never been something he had planned on doing. Then again, he had never planned on letting Whizzer get away from him so easily either. 

_ Never going to have to worry about that anymore. _

His eyes scanned the bathroom for a final time, his vision finally beginning to fail as he could feel the pills taking hold. For a moment, he was worried he was going to throw up whatever he had just forced down, but nothing came. 

Then it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Marvin jolted into consciousness. It was a sharp jerk and the man was suddenly wide awake, laying on his side, although his head was turned just enough to be staring up at something dark. Was that a ceiling? What was this? 

He noticed that the thing beneath him was rather soft, if a bit stiff, but it certainly wasn't the cold and tiled bathroom floor.

The second thing his mind allowed him to process was the fact that he was laying in a bed, in a dark room. The lights seemed to have been out for a while at this point. When he turned his head to the left he saw that thick blinds on the windows had been drawn shut tightly and attempted to limit any light from seeping inside of the room. Not that there was from the outside at this point.

There was still the quiet humming of New York traffic, as the city literally never seemed to sleep. 

Was this Heaven? If it was, what the  _ hell _ kind of Heaven was this? 

The quiet was like a thunderous bell. His ears were ringing as he drew each and every breath in, before releasing them unsteadily. 

Another moment passed and he realized something else, too. Something that made his blood run cold and his body tense up instantly. 

He wasn't alone. Not only in the room, but in the same bed.

There was a prominent warmth at his back. The sound of soft breathing from behind him and he felt his own halt in his throat. There was a weight around his torso and the warmth from behind him kept pressing against his clothed back, before the breath was released and then pressing up against him again. 

Marvin felt his heart rate spike almost immediately at this realization and he sucked in a sharp breath, jolted away from the form on the bed and barely catching himself on the edge, almost managing to slip right off. He rolled himself onto his stomach, pushing up onto his elbows as he heaved in and out.

This couldn't be happening. This  _ wasn't  _ happening. 

His eyes flickered over towards the man sleeping on the other side of the bed and Marvin wanted to cry. 

He knew those features like the back of his hands. The way the male's eyes fluttered when he slept, how his lips were slightly parted as he drew in each intake and outtake of breath. Those long eyelashes, the parting of the hair, slightly longer in the front as it draped over his face. Marvin wanted to reach over and touch him, to brush his hair back and reveal those eyes that he loved so dearly, to see if he was even real, but this was too shocking.

That wasn't Whizzer. It couldn't physically be him.

He'd been dead for months and Marvin certainly knew that once someone died, they weren't coming back. 

This was either some twisted version of Heaven or he was having one fucked up dream, that had started with him killing himself and ending up back in bed with his deceased lover.

He shook his head, drawing in a pained breath. His chest felt too tight and he needed some fresh air. Trying not to wake what looked to be Whizzer, he moved slowly and sat straight up on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. He should probably go for a walk, maybe that would help clear all of this up, but just as he moved to get up, he heard it.

That sweet voice he hadn't heard in months.

"Marv," Whizzer's sleepy tone came from behind him and the man physically jumped from the bed in alarm, wide eyes turning to face him. Which only caused his tired partner to become even more confused. "The hell are you doing up?"

He didn't think of anything to say immediately, he could barely get his mind to function properly, much less think of response.

_ Fuck. Say something back you idiot!  _

Except he couldn't. Marvin couldn't think of anything to say to the brunette, instead just standing there, mouth gaping open as the other man pushed himself into a sitting position on the bed, the blanket falling and revealing a bare chest that he was very familiar with. His eyes lingered there for just a moment before meeting chocolate brown pools staring right back at him, still dulled with exhaustion, but awake enough to have some emotion buried within them. 

Marvin was going to throw up.

So he moved. Faster than he had in a long time. Grabbing the handle to the bedroom door and throwing it open, after tripping over an abandoned pair of jeans that he hadn't seen in the dark on the way out, he hurried down the hallway and slammed open the bathroom door, before shutting it immediately afterwards. Leaning his back against it, he really didn't need Whizzer coming in after him. Not that it was going to stop him from trying. 

He didn't have the heart to lock the door.

Flicking the light on, knowing where it was from memory, he winced harshly before he found himself getting used to it. The light flickered once before staying steady and as he turned to face himself in the mirror, he was startled to be welcomed with a younger version. Blue eyes widened in surprise at the sight, he raised a hand to his hair. Shorter than it had been, even the scruff on his face was barely there. There were bags under his eyes still, but not as bad as they had been from when he lost all that sleep from grief. 

With a head shake, Marvin turned the tap on and let the cold water run, before placing his hands underneath and finally splashing himself in the face.  _ You'll wake up,  _ was a mantra going through his head,  _ this is all a bad nightmare and you're going to wake up back on the living room couch by yourself. Whizzer'll be gone, and you'll be a lonely bastard again. _

Maybe he hadn't really overdosed on Ibuprofen and this was just a really bad drug trip, and he was actually just sitting on the bathroom floor alone and shaking. Then he heard footsteps coming down the hallway and he was looking back up at himself again, water dripping from his tired features. He felt the same urge to cry as he looked at himself. 

The door was creaked open and Marvin's eyes were glued to the sleep-addled face of Whizzer, staring back at him through the mirror. He looked confused, slightly agitated, but there was a hint of worry dotting his features as well. "What the hell was that about?"

He swore to God he was about to have a mental breakdown right there and then. 

"This can't be happening," Marvin finally said, feeling the familiar hot stab of tears behind his eyes, his head dropping into his hands as the cold water kept running. He felt fucking weak, but he couldn't care less right now. This wasn't real.

"What?"

" _ You _ \-- you can't be here," he sniffled, feeling the strength in his knees beginning to fail. He felt pathetic.

Whizzer stepped a bit farther into the bathroom. "What are you talking about?"

Marvin's hands tightened around the white porcelain sink and he whipped around, tears brimming his eyes and he watched the startled look on Whizzer's face morph into something that seemed almost softer. "I watched you die," his shoulders shook. "I held you. Shared a stupid hospital cot with you while you withered away and I couldn't-- I  _ couldn't stop it. _ "

Now Whizzer was concerned. “Marvin, you had a nightmare.”

The older male shook his head. "It wasn't a fucking  _ nightmare _ , Whizzer," he barked, angry not only with the fact that he was breaking down in front of his lover but because Whizzer wasn't supposed to be alive. And here he was, standing corporeal in front of him. So close that Marvin could reach out and touch him. "I  _ killed  _ myself because I couldn't handle dealing with your loss anymore and then I wake up  _ beside  _ you h-here.. n-now-" he paused. Wiping the stubborn tears from his eyes, he pushed past the taller man and found himself heading directly for the kitchen, right where he knew a calendar would be pinned to the fridge with the year. 

His hands were shaking as he flicked on the kitchen light. His eyes scanned the room and he could see that there were some things that had been left out. That didn't matter right now, what did matter was the fact that the year said  **_1979_ ** .

His mouth went dry.

"No. No, no, no," the word was coming like gunfire from his mouth and he pushed away from the fridge, finding himself nearly close enough to run into his boyfriend, twisting just soon enough to keep from smashing directly into him. 

"Okay, Marv, you need to relax," Whizzer tried to reach out to grab his shoulder, but Marvin ducked away from his hold. Which was surprising, as it was rare for either of them to avoid the other's physical touch. His open hand nearly recoiled. "I don't understand what you're ranting about."

He knew that there was a frightened look on his face, and he could feel the colour draining from it even as he watched him, Marvin's heart was pounding in his throat. "I need to go for a walk," he stammered, letting out an uneasy breath. _ I need space. I need to get the fuck away from you. _

He turned away, raising a hand to his head, as if that would stop the oncoming headache of a breakdown he was sure he was going to have any second. His eyes landed on the front door to the apartment and without a second thought, made a beeline for it. 

Fumbling with the lock for a second, Marvin had lost his chance to get away from this nightmare, as two strong arms had wrapped around him and kept the shorter man in place. He froze up instantly at the touch, wanting nothing more than to find a way to space himself away from Whizzer. He needed to wake up, he needed to get out of this stupid fictional place in his head. 

Maybe he had come down with the same thing Whizzer had died of and he was laying in the hospital unresponsive. 

He was squirming, trying to get his way out of Whizzer's arms, trying to, and failing, to leave the damned apartment. It held too much pain. This was too much. 

"Marvin, stop fighting me," the voice that rumbled through his back startled him.

This was real. If it weren't, he wouldn't have been able to feel Whizzer's voice vibrate his chest. 

He swallowed thickly, and his fight died in his chest. He stood there, unseeing, unblinking for a second before a sob wracked his frame. He choked out a second noise before he let himself go. It was too much. Why was this happening? Why couldn't he have just died like everyone else after getting those pills down? Why the hell he was he dealing with his mistakes all over again? If anything, maybe this was Hell and this is what he got for being a dick.

His hands moved to tighten around his arms, just shaking. He felt weak like this, being so open with his emotions, but the Whizzer after their breakup wouldn't have cared. Maybe he'd tease him relentlessly about it, but it would never be  _ mean _ . Then again, the man that currently had his arms around Marvin hadn't said a damn thing and it was stressing him out.

"I can't do this," he mumbled, letting his head dip forwards, sniffling. "I just  _ can't _ ."

Whizzer sighed from behind him, letting his head drop into the crevice between Marvin's neck and shoulder. "Can't do what, Marv?"

The brunette was tired, Marvin could hear that but he also wasn't sure if he'd be able to get back to sleep himself. How did he phrase this without sounding insane? If anything, he probably already did. "Whizzer please, I need some space," it wasn't because he didn't care for the other man, he did, with his everything. He swore that Whizzer had stolen his heart from him the moment he met him, but  _ goddammit _ his stubbornness was Hell to deal with sometimes. 

"No," the reply was short and flat. 

Marvin could almost guarantee that Whizzer thought he was going to get a fight, but he wasn't. He didn't want to fight with him, he wanted to be soft and caring, understanding and grossly domestic. He wanted to get old with this man at his side the entire way. So, Marvin didn't fight him. "Alright," his voice was soft.

The silence he got in response was enough to prove that Whizzer thought there was going to be an argument. That he was going to be told off, but damn him if he said that's what he wanted. Maybe a while ago, Marvin would've put up a fight, starting a scrap. 

They stood there, Marvin wrapped in his lover's arms, just letting everything sink in. This was actually happening, and he was terrified for how it was going to proceed from here, but all he knew was that he had been granted some sort of a second chance. He didn't know why and he didn't know how, but it was reality. 

He still didn't fully believe that he wouldn't wake up in the morning, that all this had been some twisted purgatory and he was going to wake up back on that damned couch again, but until the morning, he'd have to accept this.


	3. Chapter 3

He had dried his eyes only a bit ago, and Marvin was still standing. Staring at the front door as if it had committed some sort of crime against him. The only thing that he believed was a crime, was having to relive a mistake that he knew he was bound to make again. Then he paused, his entire body tightening up again, and he kept the silence. 

This couldn't be post breakup. He furrowed his brows, his mind working as much as it could at this time of night, and he bit into his lower lip. If this was before the breakup that meant he could change what was going to happen. 

His breathing was strangled again, he felt as if he almost couldn't breathe. Whatever kind of second chance this was, it was allowing him to not make the same mistake he had. 

When he had kicked Whizzer out, it had only been hell on his conscious since. Weighed by guilt and the want to have his lover back. He had tried to get over him, countless times. Not by sleeping around, but by trying to distract himself with other things he could be doing. That had ended up with countless sleepless nights worrying about where his partner was, or with the stress that he was overindulging in work and bringing too much of that home. 

He had reconciled with Trina and Jason, Mendel was just sort of there. It was still awkward seeing them all, but it had gotten better. 

He had been getting over what had happened, although slowly, and then the handsome bastard had showed up to his son's baseball game and stole all the ground he had managed to gain from him within the two years they had been apart. All that work, all those hours of busying himself and convincing himself, and Whizzer took it away within seconds by just _being_ _there_. 

He closed his eyes for a moment before letting out a single breath through his nose. "You should get back to bed," he finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

Whizzer moved his chin, but only for a moment as he reacted. "You're not going to join me?"

"I have a lot on my mind," he lied quietly, tilting his head away so he wouldn't have to meet those familiar brown eyes. 

"Then sleep it off," Whizzer told him. He still hadn't let go of him, as it seemed the man wasn't sure Marvin  _ wouldn't _ make a bolt for the front door. "You had a  _ nightmare _ , Marvin. Jesus Christ, I'm fine and so are you."

It seemed that only Marvin would know that it wasn't a nightmare. That watching him collapse during one of their weekly racquetball games had happened. That he had shared a tiny hospital bed with him for countless nights, worried sick that Whizzer wouldn't wake up the next morning and he would be left alone. All that time that he spent worrying sick over him, wanting nothing more than to find a way to convince himself that this wasn't happening. 

It hadn't been a nightmare, and he knew that. Whizzer would never believe him. Marvin would just have to accept that. 

And sleeping it off, he was almost fairly sure, wouldn't make him feel any better. He'd wake up still as shaken as before, and he wouldn't want to face what the world had in store for that day. It was almost like playing a dizzying game of deja vu. 

"Okay."

It was almost as if he had given up completely, and he felt Whizzer's arms starting to move from around his waist. The warmth from his back disappearing and he was left standing there alone for a second. 

"When I said 'sleep it off', I meant for you to come too, you know."

"Yeah."

The sarcasm was nice to hear, Marvin had noticed that. The same snippy, fantastic man he had fallen for was still just as sharp and quick-witted. With snappy responses. 

He turned, a sad smile broke across his features as he finally took in the view of his partner.

Whizzer looked just as good as he had before. Young, handsome, toned and strong. Even when his hair was swept off to the side with bedhead, he still managed to look perfect. The loose night pants he was wearing sat just right, and Marvin was stupidly in love with this man. Not just with his looks, but with how those deep brown eyes managed to pull him in every time. He swore the longer he looked, the longer he could get lost without coming up for air. 

There was just something that kept Marvin coming back. Something that made him want to give Whizzer the world. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't want to lose him. Not over a breakup and certainly not from death.

The first time they had gone through this relationship, he'd been too thick and too blind to truly see the amazing man that had  _ somehow _ found an interest in him. He wasn't letting that happen again, not if he had any say in it.

"Yeah," he agreed again. 

Marvin could see the somewhat confused look on his face, but a light smile crossed his features in response. He guessed the man would be lying if he said he didn't feel at least a little bit better at the fact that he could change the future of their relationship. He was determined to prove that he wasn't an asshole trying to force the housewife persona onto him anymore. He knew that that sort of mindset didn't work when you were in a relationship with another man. 

He also knew that there were going to be changes that he had made over time, that would be completely new to Whizzer, and it would seem as if Marvin had changed overnight. It would probably look as if he had changed  _ because _ of such an awful 'nightmare'.

"We don't have all night to stand around, Marvin," Whizzer's voice snapped him back into what was currently happening and he saw the disgruntled, grumpy look on his features again. 

He'd be lying if he didn't think it was kind of adorable.

"Sorry, I was just.. lost in thought," he replied finally, going to move forwards. 

Whizzer looked like he'd seen a ghost, before breaking into a smirk. "Did I just hear the Great and All Mighty Marvin  _ apologize _ ?"

Once again, if Whizzer was looking to pick a fight, he wasn't going to get one. Marvin instead just chuckled, warmth flooding into his eyes as he nodded. "Yeah, I guess you did." 

He then moved past the surprised, taller male and went for the bedroom. He had a faint pull of guilt niggling in his chest as he took in the door. Wide open and welcoming. A drastic change from what he had come from. Having it closed all the time because it hurt too much to leave it open. 

Not anymore. This time was different.

This time he would be doing this right.

As he passed the bathroom, he shut the light out, just as the kitchen light went out as well. Feeling for the wall, he let his hand follow along in the darkness before stepping inside the room. Now he knew this like the back of his hand, as he had navigated it countless times in the darkness. Marvin stepped over the pair of jeans just laying idly on the ground, deciding to pick them up in the morning.

As his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, he made it to his side of the bed without a hitch, sitting down on the edge of it first however. The door was shut before Whizzer had followed after  him, but got underneath the covers first. 

The quiet they shared wasn't uncomfortable, but Marvin did have a few unsaid questions. He wanted to make sure that this was before they split ways, because what if it wasn't and he was getting excited over nothing? That he was getting excited only to have Whizzer die on him again? 

No, it wasn't possible. The calendar had said that it was  **_1979_ ** , so that was year.

What if it didn't go the way he wanted? What if he reverted back to his old self and fucked everything up again? What if. What if. What if.

It was always with the  _ what ifs _ . Was he scared of losing Whizzer again? You can bet your ass, he was. Which meant he was going to do everything in his power to keep from screwing this over. He'd also need to watch what he said more often than not now, it seemed. Which was fine, but still a bit problematic. 

If going through all of this kept Whizzer alive, then he would be willing to do anything for that man. 

"So, you sleep sitting up now?" Came the voice from behind him and Marvin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Or are you actually going to come and join me?"

Marvin took a moment to realize that his hands were cold, and recalling from when they had gotten back together, he knew that Whizzer hated when he touched him with cold hands. Why was he being childish? Well, he wouldn’t call it  _ childish _ , more,  _ trying to be playful _ . So, he crawled under the covers and faced the younger man, who had his eyes closed trying to get back to sleep, before Marvin laid cold hands against his bare chest. 

"Jesus Christ!" Whizzer flinched away from the cold touch instinctively, eyes wide open as Marvin snorted in laughter. "Your hands are cold as ice, you fucking dick." The insult was heatless and playful, but that didn't mean he was any happier with it.

So, payback was coming. Moving closer to Marvin, he twisted around and locked the shorter man into a cuddle, making him take the smaller role. Spooning was almost always done with Marvin taking the lead, but tonight he deserved to be stuck in one place. Especially after pulling that stunt. He was almost positive that Marvin was going to suddenly bitch about being the little spoon and try to push away from him, but was instead welcomed with the fact that he had snuggled closer into his arms. 

Which left him speechless for the hundredth time that night; but the hidden smile that crossed his features obviously went unnoticed by the man he was currently coddling into submission.

It was nice to be able to share a bed with someone he loved so dearly again, Marvin noted silently, to feel safe wrapped into his partner's arms again, instead sleeping alone on that damned couch. He knew that he would have always slept in that godforsaken bed, but it was so much larger without Whizzer that it just felt  _ wrong _ . 

But this,  _ this _ was the domestic stuff he missed the most. Just spending time in the other's presence. Feeling content and safe. This was what he had been needing for months. The gentle touches, the meaningful silence as they drifted off together. He wanted to say something so stupidly sappy that he  _ knew _ for a  _ fact _ that Whizzer would laugh. Maybe mock it in turn.

So, he refrained from saying it. He was pretty confident at this point that neither of them had said it to each other. Maybe it was the fact that Marvin believed his words could come cheap, especially after being able to say it to Trina for so long throughout their marriage. 

He had always felt that saying  _ 'I love you'  _ just wasn't meaningful enough as he had thrown that phrase around so much that it didn't mean anything to him anymore. It was awful, he knew that, but it was the truth. Were there words to describe how much he adored the man that was currently smothering him? None that he could think of, but actions always spoke louder than words.

The silence had stretched on for long enough Marvin just assumed that Whizzer had fallen asleep at this point. His breathing was even and slow, to which he didn't want to wake him. He shifted only a bit, moving his head back so he could take in Whizzer's sleeping features. God, he looked so peaceful. 

Goddamn. He was almost like a lovesick school girl.

There was just so much to admire about his boyfriend though. If they even considered themselves that at this point in time, he wasn't sure, but Marvin couldn't not think that way. He had spent such lazy afternoons with this man, lounging around, teasing each other, making out, watching old reruns of shows and making fun of the actors or the episode, or the dialogue. Or even laughing when one of them fucked up on cooking, only to fail just as miserably when the other tried. It was the domestic stuff that he enjoyed the most.

So he laid there, in silence, just watching him. A dopey grin on his face. This was real. It was still hard to believe that, but he was going to do his best. He didn't want to think about the morning and that this could all potentially disappear within the blink of an eye. He needed to convince himself that it wouldn't. 

His breathing had softened to something less frightened, if that was even the right word. Less panicked. Licking his lower lip, he just stayed there, quietly admiring him. It was something he hadn't been able to do. Pictures did nothing to show the true beauty of someone. 

Marvin felt... good. He really did. Seeing someone he cared for healthy and alive was what he had been been yearning for ever since he had lost him. 

"You're staring Marvin." The man jumped at Whizzer's sudden voice, watching as the brown eyes blinked open, "get some sleep and stop watching me."

He swallowed thickly before moving one of his hands to grab Whizzer's, intertwining their fingers. "I'm trying," he promised him, how earnest he was showing through his voice. "I really am. I'm just.. scared, you know?"

There was a silence for a moment, before Whizzer sighed gently, meeting Marvin's eyes. "Look, Marv, nightmares are shitty, I get it, but you gotta sleep. I know you have the day off tomorrow, but that's no reason to stay awake."

These tender moments rarely happened between them, he knew that much, so he could understand why Whizzer would either be confused, or just wanting to end the conversation and get back to sleep. Marvin had woken him up and he could believe why he'd either be tired of talking or just flat out grumpy.

"Stop overthinking things," he finally said, tugging Marvin closer to him and keeping his arms around the shorter man. "It's not doing you any good. You already look older than you are. You don't need more worry lines."

He chuckled lightly at that, but the sound was almost sad. "Thanks for that," he mumbled, leaning his head against his lover's bare chest. 

"Whatever," but he was well-meaning, Marvin could tell. "Now shut up and get some sleep."

As the silence raged on from there, he kept one of his hands loosely thrown over Whizzer's torso, and he let his eyes finally slip closed. Sleep wouldn't come easy that night, he was well aware, but it was comforting to know that he had his lover back.

He also knew that Whizzer was right, he really needed to stop overthinking things.


	4. Chapter 4

He had the day off. 

Which was a blessing on in it's own.

Which meant he should either find a way to get some errands done or just spend most of his day laying in bed or lounging on the couch. There was a pang in his chest at the thought of it.

For one terrifying moment, Marvin thought he was back on the living room couch and instead, he blinked his eyes open, only to come face to face with a tanned chest directly in front of him. So close, he could feel the body heat radiating from him. Swallowing thickly, he let his eyes slip closed again. He didn't have the urge to fall asleep again, although his body was nearly asking for it. He felt emotionally drained.

So much had happened and he still couldn't really process what  _ had _ happened, but he had Whizzer back and that was all he needed to know. He needed to keep that damned breakup from happening, and he needed to do everything in his power to show him how much he loved and appreciated him.

The quiet in the room was nice and he could see only a tad bit of light sneaking in through the shut blinds. It wasn't enough to light up the entire room, but it was enough to show that it was morning. How early in the morning, he wasn't sure. He couldn't exactly read the clock when he was pressed up against his lover in such a way. If he wanted to crank his neck backwards and risk waking said lover, than that was really the only way to check the time, but it certainly wasn't the preferred way.

He wanted to let Whizzer sleep. Even if that meant staying locked in his current position for a couple more hours. There was nothing wrong with such a position, but there wasn't really much he could do while being wide awake. Which meant he had two choices. Get up now and leave the warmth of the bed, or, he could stay there. At least until Whizzer released him enough to slip out of his hold.

It wasn't that he didn't want to spend all day lounging with someone he had already lost, but this was going to be too much if he didn't figure out what had happened. However, the more reasonable side of him said he shouldn't want to know and that he should accept the fact that his partner wasn't dead, but here he was, still managing to question everything that he thought was real. 

Marvin had almost been so sure that when he woke up, this would all be gone. That he would be on the couch, mourning alone as he watched  _ FRIENDS _ reruns. 

God, his life had gone to shit. 

His eyes slid closed again, just breathing in the scent of the other man. The hints of cologne that he had on from the previous night apparently. The way his arms stayed loose around his waist, and the steady rise and fall of the chest with every breath he took. It was mesmerizing. Whizzer had always been able to catch his attention, even with the smallest details that he was sure went completely unnoticed to the male in question. The man he shared the bed with was someone that was too important to him. Letting go was not an option this time around.

The slight shifting that followed had Marvin blinking his eyes open again, only to have Whizzer shuffle farther down into the blankets, slightly releasing him from his hold. 

Which was something Marvin was going to take to his advantage. 

Moving as slowly as possible, he began to wiggle out from underneath Whizzer's arm and inched backwards towards the edge of the bed and the blanket. He froze for a moment went he swore the brunette was going to wake up. When he didn't stir, he kept going. Slipping out of the bed completely, he cracked his back before following with his toes with the few steps taken.

He really was an old man, Jesus Christ. Marvin was almost positive that all the cracking he was getting in response wasn't healthy. Maybe it was because he wasn't exactly in the best shape he could be in. Either way, it was irrelevant. 

On his way towards the door, he picked up the pair of jeans he had tripped over previously and set them into the laundry basket. Then continued on his mission to sneak out without being caught. Somehow, he had managed to do it.

Inching the door shut as he slid out, a tiny click was heard and a release of breath he didn't know he'd been holding. 

The house was exactly the same as it had been. It looked a bit cleaner however. Setting a few of the cups into the dishwasher, that seemed to have been let out, Marvin was flicking on the coffee machine. Coffee was one of the few things he couldn't burn in this household, which he was grateful for, because without caffeine his life wouldn't run. 

He pulled out a mug from the cupboard and settled it down beside the coffee machine. He then leaned against the counter. It was strange, knowing that he had gone back two years, but he wasn't complaining. Not anymore. His eyes flickered over towards the clock on the microwave:  **_10:24_ ** . 

Not a bad time to be up.

The apartment was pretty much exactly the same. The couch hadn't been moved, the TV was still there. The rug that Whizzer liked so much was on the ground as well. Marvin didn't get what was so great about it, but his partner had insisted it would suit the living room. Tilting his head to the side, he guessed Whizzer wasn't wrong. 

The soft beeping of the machine caught his attention and the little red light was showing that water was needed. Grabbing an empty glass, he filled it with tap water before pouring it into the top, the coffee beans following soon afterwards. With that, he settled down against the counter again, just taking in the morning. The air inside the home wasn't cold, but he was slightly chilled. 

Again, coffee would help with that too. 

His eyes scanned over the fridge and there were a few magnets stuck to it. There weren't nearly as many pictures as there had been before, but there were two of both him and Whizzer, which brought a gentle smile to his face. The pictures, though, were certainly a bit more formal and serious looking. 

After a pause, the sound of a door creaking open down the hallway and Marvin knew what that meant. The pot of coffee was about half way full as it dripped in. 

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Marvin greeted as soon as Whizzer turned the corner into the kitchen. He only got a snort in response. 

"Since when have you been a morning person on your days off?" Was what his answer was. Tired, but refreshed brown eyes peered up to him, through the waves of hair that had yet to be styled to perfection. 

_ Since we got back together. Since I realized that I wanted to spend my life with you, doing anything I could do impress you. Since I realized I wanted to love you for the rest of my life to keep you from leaving me.  _ "Since today," he shrugged nonchalantly, all the unsaid words laying forgotten in the back of his throat. He then reverted to teasing. "What. Did you want to cuddle?"

Whizzer snorted again, before wrapping his arms around Marvin and looking down to him. "Maybe I did and maybe I wanted something more."

Of course, the basis of their relationship was very toxic in this time. It was fight, shout, throw things. It was either an earth-shattering fight that ended up with one of them storming out - which usually happened to be Whizzer, who then wouldn't come back for a day or two, banging other men - or it ended up in hot, angry make-up sex. The more he thought about it, the more he hated the premise of their relationship.

This was another thing that may have to be shifted a little slower than his own attitude, only because Whizzer, for a fact, will not change overnight. That's not how the other man worked. If they got into a fight, they could both hold grudges much longer than what was healthy, only because they were both too stubborn and prideful to admit they were wrong. At least, Marvin  _ had _ been that way.

Marvin rolled his eyes, a chuckle escaping his lips. "Well, guess we'll save that. Coffee?" 

Whizzer blinked, watching as Marvin turned without a second thought and began to pour himself a mug of the dark, steaming liquid, and then turning back around to look up to him. 

"Well?"

He startled. "Uh yeah, sure."

Which Marvin responded to pushing out of his grasp and moving back towards the cupboard and grabbing second mug while setting his down. Pouring a bit more coffee, he looked to his boyfriend. "Milk and two spoons of sugar, right?"

Once again, Whizzer had been reduced to being speechless. 

"Who am I trying to kid, you're sweet enough."

But that didn't stop the older male from fixing up the coffee just the way Whizzer liked it, before handing it over to him, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to the side of his face and going to settle down on the couch in front of the TV. 

The quiet was really nothing he was worried about, per se, but it was still different. Usually, Whizzer would say something snarky right back to him, or 'defend' himself when Marvin was being playful, but there was nothing from his end of it. So, he flicked on the TV before turning back to look at him from over the back of the couch. 

There he stood, eyes locked directly on the mug, before shifting to look to Marvin. "What the hell is up with you?"

Marvin blinked, before letting out a gentle sigh, offering a small smile towards him. "I tried to tell you last night, but you didn't believe me."

"Bullshit Marvin," Whizzer snarked, swishing the contents of the mug back and forth with a steady circular motion. As if trying to distract himself. "You had a nightmare, that's no fucking excuse to why you're acting all..  _ lovey-dovey. _ "

He settled his mug down on the coffee table before turning back to face Whizzer. "We've been together for ten months Whizzer am I-"

" _ Nine _ months," he corrected without any heat. 

"Nine months," Marvin repeated, before continuing, "am I not allowed to do nice things for you?"

Whizzer stayed silent at that, almost as if he was thinking about something. His eyes looked clouded, as if he was somewhere else, rather than standing in the kitchen. 

Marvin was about to say something more, when Whizzer instead beat him to it. "Why are you like  _ this _ all of a sudden? Is this, like, the calm before the storm, because I swear to God Marvin, if it is-"

He felt his heart break a little, just now understanding that Whizzer thought that he was going to snap a few minutes later, just because he was being nice. "That's not what this is about," he cut off the other male, his eyes showed nothing but warmth and honesty. "You really think this is all just an act?" He didn't know what hurt more, the lack of trust being demonstrated, or the fact that the 'Marvin' Whizzer knew at this point in time was a stuck-up dick that had little to no respect for him unless under the sheets.

The brunette pursed his lips, dropping his gaze before lifting the mug to take a sip out of it. "Honestly? I don't know with you. We've had some pretty nasty fights."

That was true and as much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't. He let his gaze shift for only a moment before returning back to the man standing up in the kitchen. How did he phrase this? "Look, if you want to understand why I seem different to you, you're going to have to hear me out. About everything that you consider a 'nightmare'."

"It was a fucking  _ nightmare _ , let it go."

Marvin stayed quiet for a minute, just looking him over. He needed to get this off his chest anyways, and who better than to tell than Whizzer himself? "Please," his voice was earnest. "At least let me explain. Then you can choose to believe it, or call bullshit."

The silence filled the air and Whizzer made eye-contact with the brunette on the couch. There was something swimming in those chocolate brown pools, an emotion that Marvin couldn't read. Which was somewhat nerve-wracking, but he was going to let his partner choose. He couldn't force these kinds of things. Before he would've, but everything was so different now. 

He looked irritated, but that certainly wasn't anything new, by any standards, before he sighed. "Fine," he caved in, moving over to take a seat beside him on the couch, "but if you're trying to fucking guilt trip me, it's not going to work."

"I'm not trying to guilt trip you," but the grin on his face was genuine. "Look, this is going to probably sound bat-shit insane, but just stick with me okay?"

Whizzer took another sip from his coffee, looking mildly impressed with how it had been made, before sitting back comfortably into the cushions. "Alright."

They had all morning.


	5. Chapter 5

"So you're telling me that you broke up with me, over losing a fucking chess game?"

Marvin rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging his shoulders sheepishly before looking to the empty white, porcelain mugs sitting idly on the coffee table. A few hours had passed. This talk had taken much longer than he had anticipated. Personally, he had hoped it would have taken an hour at most. Unfortunately, life seemed to hate him. 

That and Whizzer was asking question after question after question. 

Which he could understand the confusion and the want to know why, and how it ended, and what went down. As painful as it was to relive this again, he had set himself up for this in the first place. He'd offered to explain why he felt like crap the night before, why he had woken up in such a panic, and freaked out even more after seeing his partner beside him in the same bed again. 

Whizzer still looked skeptical, which he couldn't blame him for. If their positions had been switched, Marvin was pretty sure he would've laughed at this point, but at least his lover was paying attention to what he was saying.

"Awful, I know," he finally said, feeling the heat creeping up the back of his neck, "one of the worst mistakes I have ever made, but that's why I'm trying to not be as much of a dick. I mean, I feel like it's my fault that any of that had even happened in the first place. You left, and I kept getting worried sick, even though I was trying to tell myself to stop caring and move on with my life - which didn't work, mind you - and I didn't know where you were or if you had found a place to live or not, and then there was the fact that I wanted to apologize. So many damn times I wanted to apologize to you, but I could never get myself to actually call or text you because I had fucked up so badly and I-"

"Jesus Marv," the brunette reached over and grabbed him by the hands, forcing him to stop talking almost instantly and meet his eyes. "Take it easy. There's this thing called breathing. I recommend it."

He dropped his gaze, looking back towards the semi empty coffee table, hands shaking slightly. "The only reason I ever got the chance to talk to you again, was because Jason had asked you to come to his baseball game," Marvin smiled weakly, feeling heat behind his eyes again, "and you did, and Jesus fucking Christ, I was so relieved that you were alive. God, to just see you again was truly something." He pulled one of his hands free from Whizzer's and rubbed it down his face to try and clean himself up a bit more. You're being an emotional bitch, Marvin. "I can't count how many times I laid awake, scared to death that something awful had happened to you."

Whizzer sat quietly, sort of just taking this all in. Sure, it all sounded like made up bullshit, but Marvin was getting so worked up about it that it was hard to convince himself he was making this up. 

"After that, you somehow miraculously agreed to get back together, and then; we were happy," he felt his throat tightening up again and he groaned, knowing he already looked weak enough as it was, he didn't need to sob again. "It was nice. Quiet. We had fun, life was domestic, we would watch reruns of old shows on the days we had off together, or staying in bed late into the afternoon, or staying up way too late at night. We fought over ridiculous things like that rug you like so much," Whizzer chuckled lightly at that. "Jason liked you, saw you as another father figure, and we got along well enough with Trina and Mendel, with actual family dinners where neither of us had to worry about burning the kitchen down. Then Charlotte and Cordelia, the lesbians from next door, had been good friends of ours."

"We had lesbian neighbours?" He seemed almost excited about the idea of it. It was always pleasant meeting other homosexuals, as it was certainly a confidence booster in this time, not that Whizzer really needed a confidence boost.

Marvin laughed softly, nodding his head. "Yeah, Charlotte's a doctor and Cordelia's a caterer." He then fell quiet again. "We would play racquetball every week, and you'd kick my ass, snark me off, life was good. Then one game, you just.. just collapsed and- fuck." He couldn't do this. It hurt so much more trying to explain it to the very man that it had happened to in the first place. "You got sick and I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed with you." He laughed brokenly, meeting Whizzer's eyes finally, "you'd tell me to go home, I'd tell you 'fuck off, I'm not going anywhere'. I never did leave you. I stayed in that shitty hospital bed with you. Through the long nights where neither of us could sleep, or when you were out like a light and I was left alone to my thoughts."

Marvin felt his hand being taken again, before having it squeezed reassuringly, watching as Whizzer offered a gentle smile to him. "I didn't know you were such a softie," he chuckled lightly, trying to brighten the mood a bit more, but he watched as Marvin's didn't rise nor fall, which made the half-hearted grin disappear almost instantly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," his voice came a bit sharper than he meant to, he then corrected himself with a softer tone. "I'm the one that should be sorry about all this shit. I'm the one that tried to force that fucking housewife role on you because I was too- too much of a jackass to realize that that's not what you are." He tugged his hands free of Whizzer's and placed them on either side of his face. "You're worth so much more than that." He was struggling with this now. "God, if I had only realized that the first time, I wouldn't have lost you."

Whizzer's breathing was a little less steady than before, and Marvin could see the emotion building behind his eyes. 

When they had done this before, Marvin had been holding himself to such a high standard, that even the man that claimed to 'love' him didn't share the same pedestal. He hadn't cared that Whizzer wasn't always an asshole, but because of the way Marvin constantly treated him, he always rose to meet the challenge. Once there, neither would back down until it was too late and the other was already storming off.

That's not the kind of relationship he wanted anymore. He wanted the thrill of first love, sure, but that could happen in so many different ways. With just little displays of affection, sweet words or just a simple touch to show that they were still there with each other. Even laying in bed for hours on end together in the peaceful silence, or chatting about nothing, because neither of you had anywhere else to be.

His heart broke again, furthering the sharp, jagged pieces into his being, and he let his hands drop from his partner's face, back down into his own lap, with a leg folded up onto the couch to face Whizzer comfortably. His eyes followed them down, trying to focus on something else, attempting to distract himself while he fiddled with the end of his shirt.

They were quickly enveloped again. "God damn you for making me all sentimental," Whizzer groused good-naturedly, trying to cover up the fact that he wasn't far off from letting himself go either. "I said it last night, Marvin, and I'll say it again. I'm fine and so are you."

You don't understand how much I hate myself.

Marvin left the words unsaid, before he finally leaned forwards and embraced the taller male. He hated what he had become before, so now, he was making it right. He wanted to show Whizzer that he was truly worth so much more than just an easy fuck or someone he could fight with until they got something out of it. He wanted something healthy. A toxic relationship had only gotten him so far, both of the times he had been in one. It destroyed the two involved and made them different from who they actually were before.

Feeling Whizzer's arms move around his waist, to tighten them comfortably, Marvin's hands dug tighter into the shirt on his boyfriend's back. Clinging to him like he was the only thing holding him down. It really felt like that.

"I believe you."

The words startled Marvin into jolting away from his hold, but not completely out of his grasp, stormy blue eyes shot up to meet chocolate brown ones and he blinked, as if he hadn't heard him correctly. "Y-you do?" He could hardly believe it. 

"I want to call this all bullshit, you don't know how badly," he responded offering a gentle look of reassurance, "but goddammit. If it was, you wouldn't be getting his worked up about it."

Just like that, he had managed to convince him that what had happened was real. 

Whizzer then glanced away for a second, his face clouding up again. It made Marvin's heart skip a beat, almost wondering what was going to be said next. Before he could say something else, he was beaten to it. "You said you killed yourself because you couldn't deal with your grief anymore," the brunette's voice had grown softer, turning to watch Marvin's soft features, "but didn't you think about Jason? Or the lesbians? None of that?"

Marvin bit into his lower lip, before letting out a choked noise. "I did," he replied, nodding his head in affirmation. "A lot, actually. Even as I threw back the pills I thought about them. What they would do or think about how selfish I was being. It wasn't enough to stop me from wanting to see you again. The way you would smirk, or laugh at a joke that wasn't even all that funny; what I would've given to hear that again. I don't understand how I got sent back in time, but I don't regret a second of it. Not if I can take this chance to grow old with you and bitch about kids and their phones or whatever."

"You do that enough as it is," Whizzer pointed out with a wet laugh. 

Marvin chuckled at that, before releasing his hold on Whizzer's shoulders, pulling back for a moment. "Doing that, meant I get to do this all over. To do it right this time. Will you let me?"

The moment of silence that filled the air was certainly a pregnant pause. Should he be worried about the delayed response? Most likely. It was making him nervous, after all, but not nervous enough to break the tense air. It was thick enough that he could cut it with a butter knife, but he sat still, leaving the final decision up to Whizzer. It was only fair. If he wanted to take his things and go, Marvin wouldn't stop him. He had every right to do just that, he was only praying to God that it wouldn't be the choice made. So, he stayed quiet, watching Whizzer's face for any clue of an answer, only to find it difficult to read, as usual. 

Now he was waiting for the lash out. Being told off that he was an idiot for trying to make him stay after spewing his guts like that. Attempting to explain everything. Just because he believed him, didn't mean he wanted to give him a second chance. Which was hard to think about, as he didn't want to think about it. 

There was a flash of something quick behind Whizzer's eyes, before he watched as the corners of his lips pulled back into a small grin. There was a huge release of a knot in Marvin's chest upon seeing the small meaningful action, and he found himself tearing up again.

"You're lucky I think you're so charming."

And it was such a Whizzer thing to say that it made Marvin beam.

He really couldn't contain himself as he threw his arms around his boyfriend again and smashed his mouth onto Whizzer's. Instead of the kiss being rushed with two sexually aroused men and having one trying to tear off the other's belt and jeans as fast as possible, they took it slow and really learned each other. As if it was their first time. Far from it really.

Marvin's hands moved to Whizzer's hair on instinct, knowing well enough that the male turned to putty the moment he would do so, but there was no tugging, just smoothing his hands through the brown, unbrushed locks as he pulled back for air.

The older male had ended up straddling the younger on the couch, pushing down underneath him and he grinned sheepishly, before leaning down and pressing a few more open-mouthed kisses to his neck. "God I fucking love you." The words just happened so naturally, that it took Marvin a moment to realize he'd even said them. Once he had, his whole body tensed up and he flinched backwards as if he'd been burned. The look of horror that crossed his face was easily read, and he stammered to try and correct himself. He was positive they had never said that too each other before and he had come back from a time where it was so meaningful and second nature to him. "I-I mean, fuck- shit, Whiz-"

Instead of mocking him, like Marvin was worried he was going to do, Whizzer was flashing those pearly whites up at him, before pulling him down for another kiss, only to murmur: "I love you too, you fucking asshole," against his mouth in return.

Life really was full of second chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cheesy ending. Do I regret it? No, not really.


	6. Epilogue

Two years had passed again.

This time, these two years were full of laughter and romance. Full of pictures being taken and freezing memories in time. Some were posted onto the fridge, and some Marvin knew Whizzer had stashed away into his second scrapbook. He didn't know where said scrapbook was, but he was more than aware that it existed. There were times where arguments came to pass, but it was said that it was healthy to fight once in a while. However, contrasting to two years prior, there was never any earth-shattering fights between them anymore. 

If they argued and it got serious, there was a time where the two of them left the other alone to just breathe, to relax. Then they spoke again, more level and calm, finding a way around the problem without doing something drastic either would regret.

He had managed to reconcile with Trina, and Jason had finally come around as well. He had noticed that the kid had begun to enjoy his time spent with his father. It was nice. Mendel was still sort of awkward as always, but that was just the man's personality. He was book smart, but not always the best at reading people or social cues. 

Charlotte and Cordelia had moved in, like he had told Whizzer before - yet the man was  _ still _ surprised at that fact - and they had grown just as close, if not closer, than before. They came over more often than not, and Cordelia would offer to try her dishes. Which, would either be politely declined or ended up with someone not feeling all too great, but hiding it from the blonde. However, she was starting to improve, and every time, her dishes got better and better. Both women had actually ended up coming over and attempting to teach Whizzer and himself how to  _ not _ give each other food poisoning. 

Cooking still wasn't either man's strong suit, which meant a lot of the time they ate out. That much hadn't changed. 

Then there was the fact that Marvin and Whizzer's relationship wasn't toxic anymore. Whizzer stopped sleeping around and Marvin was significantly less of a dick than before. Working through their problems together. Sex wasn't just for making up anymore, it was meant for affection. Didn't mean they had less of it, or it was less passionate, it just wasn't as angry as it had been.

Marvin would still wake with nightmares sometimes, swearing and panicked, terrified that he had been sent back to the original time and was going to be laying in that empty bed again. Only to, every time, be comforted by a tired boyfriend, before being dragged back into bed and under the covers. 

Family dinners were light and full of chatter and enjoyment. It wasn't a chore to show up anymore, and they greeted each other with a grin. Part of it was that they wanted Jason to grow up in a household where fighting wasn't everywhere he turned. Trina and Marvin could talk with each other, without it ending up in a shouting match. Mendel could make conversation, even if it ended a little awkwardly, and Jason somehow always managed to convince Whizzer to play him in chess, even if it meant letting him win a couple times.

Being beaten by a thirteen year old was embarrassing enough as it was.

Then there was the fact that Marvin was a nervous wreck at the moment. He had the day off, but Whizzer had a couple photoshoots he needed to go out and do for people around New York, but the tiny red velvet box sitting on the counter seemed to be staring right back into his soul. 

When he had proposed to Trina, it had been out of obligation. His parents had forced him to marry since he had gotten her pregnant. The wedding was miserable, even though he hardly remembered it. He had been pretty much drunk off his ass the entirety of the night. It had never been this hard to even look at the ring he had purchased, and now, he was sitting dead still. Just watching the unmoving box.

God, what if Whizzer said no? What if he didn't want to commit into marriage and instead broke off their entire relationship because of it? He let his head drop into his hands finally. There was two ways a proposal could go: 

Amazingly, and have the partner accept and they wed. Or having them reject you and the proposal before leaving your life for good.

It was a thought he didn't want to bear. Having his partner die was much different than losing them because of rejection. 

The pain was pretty much the same, even though grief hurt a hell of a lot more, and it was something he wanted to avoid if possible. He wasn't sure if he could handle another heartbreak. 

Checking the clock, he nodded to himself, he still had about an hour and a half before Whizzer said he'd be back, which would leave them enough time to get to the restaurant he had reservations at. He was proposing tonight, and he just wanted everything to go well. 

Grabbing the tiny box off of the counter, he left the apartment to go next door. Knocking on the door, Marvin knew that Cordelia at least would be home. It depended if Charlotte was there, if she had been called into the hospital or not.

The door opened and he was greeted by the excitable blonde. "Hey Marvin," she grinned, opening the door wider for him to step inside. He did, but his heart was hammering in his chest. As she shut the door behind him, she noticed the attitude. "You're worried about something,  aren't you?"

"What?" Marvin turned to face her, eyes slightly blown wide at the sudden accusation. "N-no I'm not. I don't know what you're talking about."

Cordelia grinned, her eyes showing mirth. "You're planning to propose tonight aren't you?"

Goddammit. She could read him like an open book.

He wanted to say she was wrong, and just tell her he was nervous for a project at work he had yet to get done, but she would look right through that. Before he even had the wits to say something though, Charlotte was peering her head around the corner, leading down the hallway into their bedroom. 

"Did I just hear that Marvin is proposing tonight?" The look on her face was teasing and warm. 

_ Fuck _ . 

" _ Yes _ . Now relax, for fucks sake," he hissed, "it's just that- what if he doesn't want that kind of commitment?"

"You're kidding right?" Charlotte rose a brow finally. Her hands had been planted on her waist as she stared at the taller male down, eyes cold and steely. "Do you even know who you're dating?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do."

"Then you shouldn't have to be so worried about him turning you down," Charlotte spoke up again. "That man can be so ridiculously, grossly romantic. Are you really that oblivious to how he looks at you, Jesus Christ, Marvin. Your age is starting to show." He gave her a flat, unimpressed look at that, before she continued. "You love him, don't you?" She was answered with silence, which was answer enough for her. "And we know he loves you too. Proposing is a frightening thing to do, I can agree with you, it's terrifying, but if you know that the other person loves you, than you shouldn't be so scared."

This.. wasn't really helping all that much, but he could understand where she was coming from.

The ring that sat in his pocket had been weighing him down since he bought it, whether he had in on his person, or sitting hidden where only he the location. It was like it added an extra twenty pounds to said pocket. He slipped a hand into it, fingering the box for only a moment, but Cordelia had caught on. 

"Do you have it with you? Ooh! Can we see it!"

Marvin blinked in response to the question, but there was really no harm in doing such. The two women knew that the proposal was a secret, and even as excitable as Cordelia could be, she could keep a secret. "Alright." God, he'd barely looked at himself since he had analyzed in the jewellers. It just brought an intense fear whenever he did take the time to examine it again. The cold fear that Whizzer would reject him, or that he wouldn't like the ring, or that it wouldn't fit properly.

Dear God, he had too much on his mind.

Pulling out the small velvet box, he propped it open for them to see. Cordelia instantly cooed at it, the light in her eyes seeming to shine brighter than it had before, and Charlotte was grinning, but not at the ring. 

"It's simple, yet absolutely breathtaking," Cordelia squealed, "what's not to love about it?"

Okay, that gave him a bit more reassurance. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he looked down to

Charlotte, who was grinning knowingly. "What're you so worried about, Marv? He's gonna love it. I guarantee it. Now shoo, Delia and I have some things to do tonight."

Folding the box back into place, he snuck it back into his pocket. Bidding his farewells to the girls, he was about to open the door to his open apartment when-

"We better be the first to know his answer!" Came from the door right beside them. 

Marvin laughed, before nodding. "Don't worry Delia, I'll make sure of it." Then he ducked inside. 

He was immediately welcomed with the safety of his own home, and he let out a small noise of relief. The world could be so draining out there. His eyes scanned the floor, just double checking that Whizzer wasn't home, and to his luck, he wasn't. 

Good.

He had bigger problems at the moment. Marvin wanted to busy himself with doing something, but the house was clean enough as it was, which meant there was nothing he could really do to distract himself that way. Make something? Coffee maybe, but his heart was beating erratically enough as it was just standing in one spot. Coffee would make that worse. His eyes flickered down the hallway leading into the bedroom. A part of him wanted to attempt to choose something to wear to dinner tonight, but he knew that the fashionista himself would be tearing through Marvin's side of the closet to find something more decent. 

Which meant he was left with nothing to do.

Not great. Most days he would embrace the fact that he had absolutely nothing to do, whilst he could just lounge. Today was not that kind of day. His fidgeting hands moved directly back into his pocket and he found himself staring down at it.

The ring was gold, and very simplistic, but not so much so that it was boring. There was a small diamond in the very centre of it, embedded into the gold band, with small decors around it. 

Then again, he was brought back to stressing about his partner. What if he didn't like it, and turned him down  _ because _ of that dislike? As crazy as it sounded, it has happened to couples before. He moved the small gold ring in his fingers for a moment, smoothing over the round edges of it, before sighing. He was an over-thinker, he knew this, and he was well aware that he was probably taking this and blowing it way out of proportion, but it was still shooting sharp strikes of worry into his gut that wouldn't go away. 

As it seems, he had also lost track of time, as the only thing that caught his attention was the sound of the apartment door clicking shut. 

Marvin jumped, stuffing the ring hastily back into his pocket and twisting around in alarm to see Whizzer looking at him almost just as surprised. 

"You okay?" Was the first thing he said to Marvin as he slid his camera bag over his shoulder and setting it onto the table right beside the entrance. 

"Who me? Oh yeah. Certainly," he scoffed, trying to cover up his shaken behaviour. "Of course I am. Perfectly fine. Peachy keen.  _ Anyways _ . I wanted to let you know that we have reservations for dinner tonight at six." Whizzer blinked in response to that, before grinning and stealing a kiss before moving to head back down towards the bedroom. "I knew you'd be home around three, so I gave you an extra two hours to work on your hair."

A snort in response.

Okay, so Whizzer probably noticed how weird he had been acting, which wasn't good, which meant that he was probably going to be suspicious of something happening tonight. Again, not good. He'd have to be able to be stealthier about this then. Keeping the ring on his person was the first step.

\- - - 

As predicted, Marvin was currently sitting at the kitchen table while waiting for his lover to finish up with his hair. When he had gone back into the bedroom, Whizzer had already pulled something out for him, demanding that he changed and then disappeared back into the washroom to perfect what he thought was wrong.

He was dressed in a white button up shirt, black pants and his suit jacket over his shoulders, while a black tie hung around his neck idly. It was something more that he was toying with rather than wearing as his nerves were starting to kick in again. He wasn't planning on proposing in the middle of the restaurant, but instead he was going to take them for a walk through Central park. As cliche as it was, he knew Whizzer would like it. Which was all he really wanted.

"So," Whizzer's voice came from behind him, startling Marvin out of his thoughts for a second time that night. When he turned, his partner was already dressed to the nines, like always, but just looked even better tonight. The teal shirt he was wearing was form fitting, nicely as well, buttoned up to a few just hanging open at the top, and his dark blue suit jacket over that. He was idly fixing the cuffs, before meeting Marvin's eyes. "What's this all about anyways? Pretty sure it's not an anniversary."

He grinned genuinely, looking his partner up and down, before standing and meeting him near the door. "No, I just wanted to do something nice for you."

Whizzer quirked a brow, but moved his hands to sit idly just above Marvin's waist, pulling the shorter man closer. "Oh really?" His voice was breathy and Marvin nearly went weak in the knees with the proximity. His breath was warm on his neck and-  _ nope _ , he can't do this right now.

"Come on, stop being such a flirt, we have dinner at six," kissing the taller man, he pulled away and opened the door. He nodded his head through it. "Afterwards is a bit more open." Which was received with a knowing grin.

\- - -

Dinner had gone well, which was good, but it was slowly inching closer and closer to the time that he knew was coming anyways. His heart was hammering in his chest as he walked alongside his taller partner. The city lights were certainly something to look at, but God, Whizzer was pretty. Just everything about him. 

Central park was surprisingly empty, save for the few other couples walking around hand in hand, just admiring everything. 

This just felt so domestic and natural. 

"So, are you going to tell me what all this romantic stuff is about yet?" Whizzer's voice broke him from his concentration, and he had found they were still walking, but his partner's eyes were focused down on him. 

Marvin felt himself swallow thickly. It wasn't really an accusation per se, but it was making his jacket hotter and he reached up to loosen his tie a bit. "I mean, does there have to be a reason?" The question was weak and he knew it, not to mention that his voice wasn't as potential as he had hoped it would've been. 

The brunette rose a brow, before tilting his head. "No, there doesn't  _ have _ to be a reason, I just want to know why you're doing this in the first place is all," but Whizzer's gaze fell to their linked hands, feeling that Marvin's weren't nearly as steady as they had been just minutes ago.

"What's bothering you?"

Goddammit. Whizzer could read him like an open book too.

His hand tightened around the box in his pocket, before swallowing back his nerves, he released it. This was as good a spot as any to pop the question, that and it didn't seem like they were going to talk about much else until he came clean about everything.

So, he left the box in his pocket before turning and facing the brunette fully, taking both of his hands in his own. "You really want to know?"

"That's why I've been asking all night," he countered, causing Marvin to laugh.

_ Here goes noth- well,  _ everything.

"You are the most stubborn, egotistical person I have probably ever met," he got a snort in response to it, but he continued before Whizzer could say anything. "But, that doesn't change anything about you. I don't know how to put this without getting to sappy or emotional, so I'm going to do the best I can. You've made me probably one of the happiest men alive, and I can't find a way to say how much that means to me. Sure, our relationship started rough and awful, but I still looking forwards to waking up every morning beside you. Even though you tend to smother me in your sleep, it's something I can't live without. Your eyes, your features, the way you take hours every day to style your hair to perfection. The way when people snort at you, you brush them off without a second thought, and carry yourself with pride and confidence. Jesus." 

"Marvin-"

"I'm not finished yet," he cut him off, meeting his eyes. "Living without you sucks, and I know that for a fact. The last thing I want to wake up to is an empty bed, knowing that I did something wrong." His one of his hands moved and slipped into his pocket and tightened subconsciously on the box. "I love you more than anything. You've shown me that there's so much more to life than just work, eat, sleep, and repeat. You're the light of my life and you make everyday worth getting up to face because I know you'll be there to face it with me. You mean everything to me and letting you get away isn't something I want to do. So," he took in a steady breath before dropping to one knee and pulling the box out, before opening it and looking right back up to his lover. Said lover looked surprised, but he could see more than just one emotion in those eyes, "I guess that leaves me with one question. Whizzer Brown, will you marry me?"

The silence was tense and Marvin was absolutely terrified he had said the wrong thing somewhere in there, but slowly but surely, he saw the creeping of a smile up onto the brunette's face and before he knew it, he was being knocked to the ground by the force of the other man. 

There were hands tightening into the back of his jacket as Whizzer kept his face buried into the crook of Marvin's shoulder and neck. "I thought you'd never ask," his voice came out soft and broken, but overjoyed. 

Marvin felt such a weight lift off his shoulders. It felt good, to know that he wasn't rejected by the man that he loved the most. To know that he would finally be able to live the rest of his life beside him. His hands dug into the jacket covering Whizzer's shoulders and he laughed, his excitement showing through completely. 

When they finally pulled apart, the two were grinning like madmen, and Marvin slid the ring onto his fiancé's - he was really going to need to get used to that - finger. 

Whizzer held his hand up to really get a look at it, before turning his gaze back to Marvin. "You really do know me, don't you?" 

Marvin chuckled at that. "Well, I should hope so."

There was a comfortable silence that filled around them. There were a few people that had clapped and congratulated them and a few made snide remarks, yet went unnoticed by the population. However, the moment was lived through and they gathered themselves back to their feet. 

"So, this is why you have been acting so weird," Whizzer still seemed entranced with the ring, but his attention was pretty much on Marvin, even as their hands slid together and their fingers intertwined. 

The shorter man shrugged his shoulders. "I was worried you'd say no." It was an honest fear to have, and he really had every right to feel that way. Even though these two years had gone significantly better, he had never been able to shake the feeling that maybe, way deep down, buried beneath something, Whizzer held this loathing for him. That he still hated the idea of commitment or staying hitched. 

Silence. 

Then a gentle sigh, that sounded more of an exasperated laugh. 

Marvin was stopped when Whizzer did. With their hands linked together, he turned to look over his shoulder. "You were really this scared to propose to me because you thought I'd say 'no'?"

He felt red creeping up the back of his necks, his cheeks turning a light pink and he tilted his head away, trying to not make eye-contact. He shrugged his shoulders passively. 

"Marvin, two years ago, if you were to just pop the question out of nowhere, then yeah, I would've said no," Whizzer reached up with his free hand, tucked it under his the brunette's chin and tilted it up to face him, making sure to keep it forceful enough so Marvin wouldn't be able to pull away. "But now." His voice had grown softer, gentler. "There was no way in Hell I was passing up the chance to annoy the fuck out of you for the rest of our lives." He could see all the emotions swimming in those blue eyes, and he smiled lightly. "So, don't worry. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

The blue-eyed male broke into a grin again, but it was wet. Fuck, his eyes were watering again. "Goddamn you for making me all sentimental." When he roused a laugh from Whizzer, he felt his heart swell. He truly did love this man. No amount of hate or harassment they got on the streets would ever change that fact. Homophobic people could take their bullshit and shove it where the sun don't shine, because his happiness was what mattered to him, not some cruel passing comments. 

He was broken from his thoughts when he felt warmth on his own lips and he grinned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Whizzer's neck and pulling him down to his own level. There was a slight noise of discomfort and surprise, before there was silence again. 

The moment lasted a good while, before they pulled back and Marvin was looking up into pools of melted chocolate. "God, you're pretty." It was cliche, but cliche could be the truth. 

Whizzer grinned, leaning down and stealing another peck. "You still owe me a little something when we get home. I think, for celebrating our engagement."

The shorter brunette tilted his head to the side, almost as if pondering it. "I guess I could make up for skipping out on it earlier," he agreed, pulling back and linking their hands again, his own eyes wandering down to admire the ring on his lover's finger. He then gave a small tug and they started walking again. "Although, we have to make a pitstop at Charlotte and Cordelia's, I promised they'd be the first to know your answer."

"Let's just call them, that way we won't have to leave the apartment," he nudged Marvin in the side lightly, watching as a grin grew wider on his face. "It's better that way anyways. Won't have to worry too much about shrill screeches upon hearing I said yes."

Marvin shook his head with a laugh, keeping his eyes ahead of they as they walked. He squeezed Whizzer's hand in his own, as if it was a reassurance for himself, to show that this was indeed still his reality, and getting a squeeze back, his smile was wider. More confident. 

This was the life he had dreamed to live. Happy, loved. Cared for by someone he loved just as much, if not more. This was the life Marvin had been yearning for ever since he divorced Trina. 

Since he lived with Whizzer, fought and bitched with him. This was the life he had wanted to live the moment he realized that he loved the stubborn man. The moment he lost him to a sickness  that couldn't have been stopped. 

Marvin got the chance to live life the way it was meant to lived.


End file.
